To lie is to intentionally give a false statement. This is interesting and although in the past I did on occasions lie. Ok I’d say I probably lied as much as your average person. Why? To get what I wanted, to save embarrassment and I guess the biggest reason we lie, to get out of trouble.
When I was 3 or 4 I had an imaginary friend. Her name was Kelly. I was an only child at that point so Kelly was essentially my scape goat for anything naughty I did. She destroyed my room and was generally just a rat bag. There was one particular day that ‘Kelly’ took her crayons and drew all over the brand new carpet we had put in our house. This was no ordinary day you see, it was the day my father came home from hospital after back surgery. The rest of the story isn’t important but it’s interesting that she picked this particular day to misbehave so badly. Maybe she had issues with my father that early in the piece? Who knows?
So why lie? I have looked into the links between BPD (borderline personality disorder) and lying. It seems that there is very little evidence of it being a trait within the studies done. Now does this mean we are incapable of lying? I would think not but it does mean we are less likely to lie. I don’t know how it works for everyone else but for me lies cause confusion within my head and the confusion causes almost panic reaction.
The origin of lying I believe is linked to the activation of the frontal cortex which is responsible for the development of our personality. It is also responsible for how we behave socially and emotionally.
If this is true then does that mean liars have the art of lying ingrained into their personalities? Does this prevent them from feeling guilt after lying? I know when I lie I feel massive guilt and have even booked a session with my councilor just so I could get it out without having to take back the lie. Strange I know!
Now a tiny white lie I’ve found I’ve been able to live with. Even a big one as long as the person comes clean and tells me the truth. I have found the confusion becomes so overwhelming and despite it being an earth shattering confession I was able to almost tick it off in my head and be ok when most people would have lost their mind. For me it’s never been so much the issue, more the deceit I am upset about.
Throughout our family court battle I have from the beginning gone in with the notion, ‘the truth will set you free’. So far it’s been disastrous for me but on the bright side, no skeletons have come from my closet. The bit that I don’t understand is why the lies of others have been allowed or more so ignored? I sometimes wondered what the point is for the judge to even bother getting out of bed in the morning? The family court system is just ludicrous and a complete joke to me as we are talking about someone’s life. Ok the lives of many but at the centre, the life of my son. I have missed a first tooth, the entirety of year one and now half of year 2.
It has caused the liars to gain an over inflated sense of power which fuels their nastiness and for myself who has been truthful, to become more and more disheartened as times goes on. Had the situation portrayed be more of a ‘fair’ representation rather than what it is then things might be different. It seems that it’s less and less likely to be the case though but nevertheless I will keep going for as long as I can!
Family court has been a source of huge emotional turmoil, fueled any unhealthy vices and exacerbated my already present depression and anxiety. The games played by my so called family are not far off destroying any self esteem and future life I am capable of living. I wholeheartedly believe had I just been given a ‘fair go’ things would be different. But I am a stubborn creature and it seems to take a lot to kill me!
So I guess if you are or happen to know a judge within the Australian Federal Court Circuit can you ask them why they choose not to read the material? How would they like to be in my position?
Now I am not the only one dealt a shitty hand though as sadly I am the voice of many.
To everyone out there. Enjoy your day and try to be as open and honest with the ones around you.
Our actions don’t just effect us in the end!
DIARIES FROM DOMESTIC VIOLENCE 