How to be wrong the right way? Oxymoron maybe? I have always believed that to be able to feel wronged from time to time you must also be able to admit yourself when you have wronged others. Sounds simple right! Why is it that we find it much easier to tell a stranger or someone removed when we are wrong but when it comes to a loved one or ‘the one’ why do we fight tooth and nail to get our point across as the most hurt or the most hard done by or most wronged? Wouldn’t it be easier to do that with a stranger? We may never see them again and we certainly don’t live with them. So why is it we put up the most fight with The ones who will never let us live it down or we see day in and day out and have to put up with that evil glare?
Are we effing crazy? Do we love being victims so much that we lure these unassuming victims into our lives, dance around in what is referred to as the honeymoon phase for a while before we peel back the layers and show them our scars and all. All the broken, misshaped and previous hang ups. Then without always being concise of it unleash a destructive series of events, one meant to punish past bad relationships and set our sights for our nearest and dearest.
Whoops. Sorry my bad?
Is that good enough? Could pride be the biggest reason for this? It certainly would account for us lacking the understanding when it comes to their side of events. I can see that the silver lining we could take from this is that by arguing with our partner we in turn learn more about them but on a more passionate level. Possibly this is where we fight for our core values which we will not compromise on.
On the flip side we also learn their greatest weaknesses and those things which may have previously been damaging by others and lay just below the surface but are raw and cause us to lash out in a spectacular fashion which sometime can hit them like a freight train when they are not ready.
Now this would all be straight forward if it came out in a clear and informative fashion but more often than not it can be masked by a protective layer which unfortunately masquerades as something totally different. A lot of the time we don’t even understand what it is or how it works in our own minds so what hope in hell does this other person. The one who ordinarily makes us feel like nothing else, makes us smile and we normally enjoy making them smile.
Or is it that although we may feel wronged in some way we can’t fathom the idea that we could hurt them…. because we do have such strong feelings towards them and would never intentionally want them to be anything but loved and feel safe with us.
This one I throw my hands up in the air with. I know I want more than anything for a safe place but at times I feel a massive distance come between us and I am suddenly cast back out on my own, scared and venerable again without even trying.
All I know is that you can’t fight to win for winning sake. Right or wrong pick your position and stick with it and do that because you believe that is the right position for you. Anything less is a waste of everyone’s time and it will all be for nothing. Be kind to one ones around you and expect kindness in return. Remember we are all pink and squishy on the inside.
Some things in this life when broken they cannot be fixed.
I am a mother of one, artist and blogger from Australia. I write children’s books and want to introduce awareness education for children in all schools.
This is my journey from domestic violence and beyond. Where it will end up is anyone's guess. Share in my story....