This year I wrote about losing my family. I wrote about them turning their backs after the domestically violent relationship I was in and subsequent usage came to light. I believe I said that although it was tough that I’d decided in the end I could not have them back in my life. I came to the realisation that instead I would make my family along the way!
A little while ago that little readymade family appeared to me. They seem to be almost treading water, travelling around and slightly lost but something appeared to be missing from this trio. What is it they’re missing? Do they even know? Somewhere to call home? Well that’s what I’ve been missing in my life. Maybe it’s a ‘Wendy’ for these two lost boys and their princess?
So who are they? Crazy as hell is a good start and made up of three very interesting characters that seem to fit my brand of ‘weird’ quite nicely.
There is Uncle-Brother, not your typical teenaged boy would probably be the best way to describe him. He is highly intelligent with a dry twisted sense of humour. This kid reminds me a lot of myself and I suspect also has a small innocent little person inside who is sensitive and suffers from immense loneliness and just reaches out to belong to something. This one I feel most obligated to protect just in case he is not as strong as I am.
Finally there is Daughter. She is the same age as my son and one day when put in the same room together she is definitely going to be in charge. Compared to most eight year old girls she is beautifully behaved yet stubborn as hell! I think the name my grandfather gave me when I was about her age, ‘The Impossible Princess’ is appropriate here for this future menace upon society. I suspect in the future she will be someone who is remembered by anyone she crosses paths with. She will be both captivating and someone that I can only liken to a muse, the girl who influences famous songs that last the test of time. Keeping her grounded and her father from dropping dead from all the future playful chaos I know she is destined to cause will be a challenge. Wanting your kids to grow up into individuals is all you really want for them really. This one will both do some damage but have the most fun at the same time. This part also sounds slightly like myself and it’s the most fun to see what the next generation impossible princess has install for this world.
This misshapen band of hero’s and I are lovingly under the wing of two ‘scary godfathers’ for the moment. Lovingly helping us until we are strong enough to do this alone but always part of our new family. Hell hath no fury like two gay guys and a newly decorated Christmas tree.
For now their identity will remain a secret, due to the stalking issues I have with some of my family members. (Hello previous family member when you read this!! Yes you!! Question? Do you ever stop and wonder if just treating me like you did before and maybe not turning your back while viciously attacking me and needing to stalking me might have been a better option and use of your time? I’d think it would have been a hell of a lot easier than this approach because if you’d only ask I would probably just tell you!)
I have no secrets but I can’t wait to watch yours come out in good time. You may have won the battle but I will win overall.
Until then happy reading. I will be happy in the end and I will get my son back with me. Sadly he will probably be a distant memory for you all because lies, deceit and covering up disgusting perverted behaviour can’t last forever.
One thing, I don’t know why
It doesn’t even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind, I designed this rhyme
To remind myself how I tried so hard
It’s part of the way you were mockin’ me
Actin’ like I was part of your property
Remembering all the times you fought with me.
I’m surprised it got so far
Things aren’t the way they were before
You wouldn’t even recognize me anymore.
Not that you knew me back then
But it all comes back to me in the end
You kept everything inside
And even though I tried, it all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually
Be a memory of a time when I tried so hard.
DIARIES FROM DOMESTIC VIOLENCE 