You can call it what you like. I refer to mine as the ‘Band-Aid’. It’s the coping mechanism we use when something is too much to sit down & be honest with yourself about & make the change. Some people drink to excess, exercise too excess, use drugs to excess, have sex to excess etc. the point is the ‘Band-Aid’ helps us distract ourselves, it is usually destructive & reeks havoc upon our lives.

Mine is substance. I am looked at as a user & that is it. It must be that which is the problem.

So fix it! It’s that easy!

The problem is I am addicted to the numbness, the distraction & the self diatruction not the Band-Aid covering the problem. It covers a sore that exists & rather than let it all hang out there I keep it under my Band-Aid. If you don’t fix the ‘sore’ it results in us finding a different Band-Aid solution & then the cycle continues.

Most people struggle to or maybe they are just to in denial about the roll they play in certain situations so they blame the wrong thing.

Who takes responsibility?

That lays in both courts. We need to take responsibility for our shit! We need to be honest mostly with ourselves about the rolls we played in our own lives & the lives of the ones around us. Being wrong or taking responsibility does not make you less of a person, it makes you human! You can’t expect to ever feel wronged by anyone or for them to ever say sorry to you if you’re not willing to also give them out. The same goes for others in our lives. If we are big enough to do all of these things then we should be trusted to know what’s best for us. Comments like ‘why didn’t you just leave him’ or ‘just stop doing that’ are as damaging as turning your back sometimes. While they are the obvious responses and outcomes they are patronizing. There is no shame is not have an answer for everything. Sometimes people are just looking for an ear & to know they are not alone. Sometimes sitting quietly with someone can make the difference between them making it or them not.

Yes this is a message to people in my life. To whom? Well this is anonymous remember!!! They know who they are…..


I am a mother of one, artist and blogger from Australia. I write children’s books and want to introduce awareness education for children in all schools. This is my journey from domestic violence and beyond. Where it will end up is anyone's guess. Share in my story....

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