Day 2,301 Of Domestic Violence – Insanity And A Love Note On A Kite

Eros – love. So I feel like I found that part of me which has been missing my whole life 4 days ago. I don’t feel as though it’s ever felt this way before but I don’t really know? For some reason, this current moment, I can’t remember the exact feeling for anyone else in […]

Day 2,293 Of Domestic Violence – Galloping Through The Headmiles

Post traumatic stress disorder, anxiety, panic attacks? Call it what you want it’s a mind field of confused half thoughts and edginess. I find my rope getting shorter and shorter. Please don’t make mindless chit chat with me because I have that much going on I may scream at you even though it’s not your […]

Day 2,246 Of Domestic Violence – Letter To My Love Part 2

I wrote this yesterday. I don’t think I’m as angry today with you but the fact remains the same. You let me down. The sad fact is days like yesterday happen more often than not these days. I’ve previously written about loving someone means you have to decide whether the good outweigh the bad but […]

Day 2,245 Of Domestic Violence – The Art Of MAN-ipulation 101

Man-eater, temptress, master manipulator, puppeteer, siren, witch. These are just a few words that have been used to describe me in the past. To say I don’t know I’m even doing it would be a lie. Let just say I’m skilled in the art of a coquettish and have been for most of my life. […]

Day 2,244 Of Domestic Violence – How Is Your Mental Health Today?

There have been so many times I’ve heard in the popular media about the issues pertaining to mental health and the great lengths governments have been going to in the way of tackling it. In my experience what I’ve found is anything but and is similar to the issue I found with DV Connect and […]

Day 2,236 Of Domestic Violence – I Mustache You A Question But First I Will Give You A Clue!

I don’t even know where to begin with this one! Other than ‘ha ha funny play on words hey?’ Honestly that’s the best I could come up with! These usually have a somewhat ‘whimsical’ feel to them. They usually detail the somewhat unbelievable and bizarre trail we found ourselves on. This one is just pissing […]

Day 2,234 Of Domestic Violence – Happier

This one goes out to a friend of mine who I had an interesting ‘school excursion’ to the cemetery with this morning. Now this person is hilariously quick witted which I’m sure will get him in loads of trouble when he grows up although something tells me he will have the best fun doing it! […]

Day 2,233 Of Domestic Violence – Where Have All The Cowboys Gone?

‘Where have all the cowboys gone?’ For some reason the 1990’s hit by the so called ‘anti feminist’ Paula Cole comes to mind. That is when I think of how things are at present and have been for sometime. No not literally! Just like I’m sure the song was intended in 1997, as a sly, […]

Day 2,231 Of Domestic Violence – Careful What You Wish For

Domestic violence has been a part of my life for a very long time but not until a few months ago did I realiseI that fully. People carry on with far out concepts of existence and ask questions like ‘what’s beyond the universe?’ But quite frankly I’m still trying to work out what the everyday […]

Day 2,207 Of Domestic Violence – Don’t Be That Guy!

What is friendship? It should mean caring and understanding for someone outside your family circle. In a sense the creation of an extended family. The beautiful thing is you get to enjoy the highs and lows of someone’s life, such as their kids growing up with yours and as it is a relationship by choice […]

Day 2,202 Of Domestic Violence – Unconditional Love Is No-Prob-Lama!

Unconditional love. It’s what your mother has for you. Well it’s what your mother is supposed to have for you. I know that I have it within me. There are a lot of things in this life I get that I feel a lot of humans or as I often refer to them, ‘aberrations’ don’t […]

Day 1,200 Of Domestic Violence – Brother From Another

Dear Brother From Another The way I could describe you is the same way I would love someone to describe me. You are funny, smart, quick witted and a beautiful person who I know has the potential to do amazing things. You are kind and genuinely caring which is not easily found in people these […]

Domestic Violence ‘it’s not a male dominated sport’

Domestic Violence ‘it’s not a male dominated sport’

Domestic Violence ‘it’s not a male dominated sport’

Day 1,197 Of Domestic Violence – Sometimes Dickhead Friends Are Worth Having Sometimes

I started writing this about a day ago. Normally these begin well but end the same. Crashing and burning and me left wondering how I could have missed the obvious signs in front of my face the entire time. This being the reason for such a wide selection of misfires to choose from. I often […]

Domestic Violence ‘it’s not a male dominated sport’

Domestic Violence ‘it’s not a male dominated sport’

Tonight’s anthem

Day 1,188 Of Domestic Violence – Letter To D – Why I’m Not Like All The Other Little Girls

I often wonder what my full potential might have been. How life might have looked had I not being a child of domestic violence. My first memory being about 3 years old. It was very early in the morning and as my father was a truck driver so he left for work early. I can […]

Day 2,186 Of Domestic Violence – Friday 18th January 2019

Friday 18th January 2019. I want to remember this date. Why? Because today was a really good day! Today was the first time I consciously acknowledge that my life had turned a corner. Whether it has been happening for a while now and I’m only realising it now or maybe it was a phone call […]

Day 2,184 Of Domestic Violence – Somebody Special

It’s hard to explain to someone who obviously cares about us how after a while this fight just seems pointless. I know they care and I know they mean the best but if you had to live even a fraction of the horrors I’ve lived in this lifetime I wonder where your head would be […]

Day 2,181 Of Domestic Violence – I Hate Everything About You

Honesty. Just a word it seems. Why is it that being possibly the most understanding person after the fact, I am also lied to so often and so blatantly. Do I have fuckwit plastered on my forehead? To you all I have to say is, just as quickly as we fell in love, I fell […]

Day 2,169 Of Domestic Violence – In The End Are They Worth The Ups And Downs

I have written about this a few times already. About how this lovely friend of mine told me that turning 33 would be a life changing for me. She told me that decisions would have to be made and that this would be the year my life would change. This week I realised what that […]

Day 2,155 Of Domestic Violence – Watching The Sun Go Down

It’s the question or at least a possible answer to a long standing mystery in my life. Why is it so easy to fall in love with me but I’m always passed over in the end? Why do I never get a happy ending? Look I have my issues which can consume me from time […]

Day 2,151 Of Domestic Violence – Weeds Are Flowers Too, Once You Get To Know Them.

Recently I’ve been asking people the question, ‘what do you think needs to change or what’s it going to take for men and women to get along finally. How do we stop damaging each other so much and just get along?’. My ‘funny answer’ to that question is ‘sterilisation and brain damage’. At this point […]

Day 2,148 Of Domestic Violence – Screw You Disney

At what point do we just give up on ourselves? At what point is trying to tell yourself you are worth something just fucking pointless? Maybe it’s a male/female thing? Maybe all men are just assholes and all woman are just evil bitches? But I’m not so is it a case of me being the […]

Day 2,146 Of Domestic Violence – All In The Family

This year I wrote about losing my family. I wrote about them turning their backs after the domestically violent relationship I was in and subsequent usage came to light. I believe I said that although it was tough that I’d decided in the end I could not have them back in my life. I came […]

Day 2,145 Of Domestic Violence – Same Same But Different Now

This one is short and sweet. I started it yesterday and today I’ve decided not to add too much more to it. The question is important so I’m gonna mull over it instead of turning this into a novel. As life tailspin’s again I feel as if these blog posts pour out of me. When […]

Day 2,144 Of Domestic Violence – Something To Remind You

Sadly I’m pretty adversed to heartbreak and the human condition letting me down. I have little experience though when it comes to people being who they say they are and coming through for me when I need it. Why? Simply because they care. I realise that I have to get used to people treating me […]

Day 2,143 Of Domestic Violence – To The Woman Supposed To Raise Me

This one goes out to a woman who has at times been closer to me than anyone before. In a way I wish I could say the closeness was one based on emotion but this one is more the fact that I spent those first vital months incubated by her. Taking all of that into […]

Day 2,125 Of Domestic Violence – My Head

When I think about how many times my worth has been proven to be less I feel deflated. It’s hard to keep getting back up each time even though I know who and what I am and what I have to offer. From recently having dreamt an entire night? Albeit there were a few differences […]

Day 2,103 Of Domestic Violence – Pain Is Only Skin Deep

Pain. When I look around lately it’s all I seem to see. A sea of faces from all walks in pain. One thing used to numb that pain bringing people who ordinarily wouldn’t have crossed paths together with one common goal in life. To numb that pain. So is it a case of the world […]

Day 2,080 Of Domestic Violence – Those Who Matter Don’t Mind

Next week is his birthday.  Next week my son turns 8.  He had not long turned 6 when she lied and used manipulation on even myself to turn everyone against me and trick me into signing over temporary custody. I will never forgive my mother for what she has done and for his this has […]

Day 2,061 Of Domestic Violence – Never Been Kissed

Even though most of my confidence has returned and my voice loader than it has ever been in the past I still struggle. I struggle to trust myself and my decision making when it comes to certain areas of my life. Every now and again the universe throws me a curve ball in the form […]

Day 2,044 Of Domestic Violence – Confidence In Me

On the days leading up to releasing a video to help promote my fundraiser I feel nervous about letting it all hang out there. It’s one thing to tell people in passing but it’s another to expose myself to the world. I have not been an angel whilst on this path but a lot of […]

Day 2,042 Of Domestic Violence – Where Do You Go When No One Cares?

Maybe I’m just extra specially unlucky or maybe no one really cares? At this point I’m not sure which one it is. Recently I wrote to the Crime and Corruption Commission (CCC) regarding failures I have been involved with first hand when it comes to the Queensland Police Service. My complaint covered things such as: […]

Day 2,033 Of Domestic Violence – Home Is Not A Place It’s A Feeling!

Recently I said good bye to the last place I considered home. It was a home I lived in about a decade ago full of fond memories I will cherish forever. I am officially an orphan now and it’s sad to not have that safe place to return to when I need a break from […]

Day 2,026 Of Domestic Violence – Juvenile Love

Earlier this year I had the heart breaking decision to give up on someone that is loved for half my life. He was a serial pest when it came to woman and keeping it in his pants. The sad reality is he was someone I met in my late teens, dated in my early 20’s […]

Letter From A Not So Typical Male – His Observation

A friend recently showed me something he wrote. He handed me his phone and said ‘here this is how I see you’. I was suddenly interested as I love an opportunity to learn something about myself. What I found was something insightful and sweet. The way he describes me is exactly how I see myself […]

Day 2,025 Of Domestic Violence – The Human Connection And Hero’s In Red Shoes.

I work for the Salvation Army.  I have been tasked with doing a short piece each month in the newsletter.  I wanted to meet with certain groups that meet weekly and people within the corps to get their story and have a chat with them.   I wanted to share it with the rest of the […]

Day 2,013 Of Domestic Violence – Standing Up To My Daddy Issues

They talk about ‘Daddy issues’ as a joke sometimes but to be honest they are more real than we like to think. My father was an angry, self righteous, physically and verbally abusive, controlling mess and still is to this day. Most of my life I have been told ‘that’s just the way he is’ […]

Day 2,011 Of Domestic Violence – It’s A thing!

The thing about putting yourself out there is it opens you up to games. How many of us play games in this life? With peoples hearts, emotions and even self worthless. Why is it we have an understanding that children need genuine love and care for their development but we don’t carry that through into […]

Day 2,006 Of Domestic Violence – Stronger Than You Think

There are a few people who make me smile in this life. To you Miss Alana whom I love very much. Although you are relatively new friends I think you are here to stay! It is very much like meeting myself or a close version of myself. Soft, sweet and the kindest of souls, all […]

Day 2,008 Of Domestic Violence – Finding A Unicorn

This week I want to put out something dictated to those beautiful people. You will know if you are one of them because no matter what, time, distance and even bullshit comes between us in the end nothing changes. You will have taught me something or shown me something that will have changed me for […]

Day 2,007 Of Domestic Violence – The Guilt I Feel

This goes out to two woman in particular out there. You know who you are! Thank you for telling me I am selfish. Telling me I choose something over my own son. Thank you for ignoring me, for taking me out of my sons life and cutting me down or humiliating me any chance you […]

Day 2,006 Of Domestic Violence – Act Like A Man

What is wrong with some people?  Why is it that certain people in your life get to waltzed around pointing fingers and placing blame but really they need a massive reality check?  Yes this is a rant.  Just who do you think you are?  For the life of me I have no idea why you […]

Day 2,004 Of Domestic Violence – To Right A Wrong

How to be wrong the right way? Oxymoron maybe? I have always believed that to be able to feel wronged from time to time you must also be able to admit yourself when you have wronged others. Sounds simple right! Why is it that we find it much easier to tell a stranger or someone […]

Day 1,889 Of Domestic Violence – Stupid Boys

Why is it that they are nice and then they’re not? Why do men these days seem to be more interested in the sleazy games and trickery than they do about any real connection with a woman? What if you suddenly met one that didn’t tell you what you wanted to hear or at least […]

Day 1,887 Of Domestic Violence – Perpetual Loneliness

Life more and more presents itself to me as a scary and lonely experience. Often it seems as if the time and effort we put into people is wasted. I don’t know about you but I feel like I’m the only person who ‘gets it’. Then again a crazy person doesn’t know they are crazy […]

Day 1,878 Of Domestic Violence – He Love’s Me, He Loves Me Not

It seems a whole lot harder to date or find love after domestic violence. Sometimes it it seems impossible to just find a man to speak nicely to me. After a whole host of bad relationships it seems as if maybe I’m destined to be lonely and broken forever. Last night was late night shopping […]

Day 1,875 Of Domestic Violence – Wednesday 27th June 2018

Good morning. Today is Wednesday. Once a week it’s Wednesday but it will never again be Wednesday 27th June 2018. Today is just another day but it cannot be done again, taken back or changed. Note to self. Enjoy the day. Good or bad accept today as it is. Either grow from the experience or […]

Day 1,870 Of Domestic Violence – The Better Man

Often when we find ourselves in a never ending cycle of let downs and feel like there isn’t one decent man left on the planet. Sometimes we are just looking in the wrong place. It’s the theory of insanity, doing the same thing over and over again yet expecting a different outcome. It’s not as […]

Day 1,864 Of Domestic Violence – The Yin And Yang Of Love ❤️

I met someone who spoke about an important relationship in their past not working due to the fact they were almost yin and yang when it came to the way they lived their lives. It was suggested that a relationship between two polar opposites was impossible and doomed right from the start to ever work […]

Day 1,863 Of Domestic Violence – Lost Boys

Two new and very lovely additions to my ever expanding support network and new found family took me out last night. We went somewhere I wouldn’t necessarily have gone on my own before. I can say I am very glad that I did. While I have been to a few suburban Salvation Army Services this […]

The After Effects Of Domestic Violence -What Are We Left With In The End?

Yesterday I found myself without my headphones. I never realized just how much of a crutch they had become for me when I’m on my own. Spending time on my own is the most confronting and feels the realest. Luckily I am still pretty practiced in the art of pretending like the rest of them. […]

Day 1,855 Of Domestic Violence – Liar Liar Pants On Fire

To lie is to intentionally give a false statement. This is interesting and although in the past I did on occasions lie. Ok I’d say I probably lied as much as your average person. Why? To get what I wanted, to save embarrassment and I guess the biggest reason we lie, to get out of […]

Day 1,852 – Of Domestic Violence- The Beautiful People

At times I have thought that maybe there are no good people left on the earth? Are we due for that zombie apocalypse? End of days I call it!! My friends would have heard me talk about ‘End if Days’. Something tells me maybe I was just looking in the wrong place? Is it a […]

Day 1,848 Of Domestic Violence – To Build A Home

I met a woman overnight. It’s hard to describe this person. She was on one hand terrifyingly and seemed at first to have a massive chip on her shoulders but I don’t mean that in the traditional sense. It was clear that she had been through a lot and it was apparently clear when she […]

Day 1,845 of Domestic Violence – Money Money Money!!

I never thought too much about my age. I can remember getting to eighteen seemed to take a lifetime. Being that my childhood was slightly dysfunctional I couldn’t wait until I had finished year 12 and to get out of home. When I left home the first time in about April of 2004, not long […]

Today’s anthem

Day 1,844 of Domestic Violence – The Power Of Positive Thought

Positive thoughts? It’s difficult sometime to look on the bright side and be faced with people telling you ‘it will all work out in the end’. I know a lot of it is a case of people not knowing the right thing to say or having an answer or simply them wanting to help but […]

Why do we stay?

No one falls in love with an abuser. They groom you to love them. They groom you into obedience and control you through intimidation and fear. In the beginning it’s a normal relationship. You meet a man he is funny and charming. He tells you all the right things .that he will care for you, […]

Day 1,839 Of Domestic Violence – The Wonder Years

What would you do if I sang out tune? Would you stand up and walk out on me? Lend me your ears and I’ll sing you a song I will try not to sing out of key, yeah Oh, baby I get by with a little help from my friends By with a little help […]

Day 1,836 Of Domestic Violence – Such A Shame, She Was Such A Nice Girl!

Shame. I have felt ashamed of myself before sure! I am in no way perfect and I am the first person to admit it. Accepting that I am not perfect and admitting my faults has not always gone so well for me to say the least. The only bright side is I don’t have too […]

Day 1,835 of Domestic Violence – Have A Little Faith In Me!!

What is faith? faith 1. complete trust or confidence in someone or something.”this restores one’s faith in politicians” 2. strong belief in the doctrines of a religion, based on spiritual conviction rather than proof.”bereaved people who have shown supreme faith” As a child I went to catholic school up until year 10. I wasn’t raised […]

Day 1,383 of Domestic Violence – The Anti-Mother’s Day

To my mother on Mother’s Day! Today is a day to consciously thank those woman who have left such a lasting impression upon us. For some it means they played a massive role in shaping the strong, independent woman and mothers they are today. For some of us a poignant reminder of just how cruel […]

Day 1,382 of Domestic Violence – Why Don’t Boys Cry?

There is alway so much talk about ‘respect for woman’ but respect for men isn’t as widely focused on. Is this because we see domestic violence as predominately being perpetrated by men as apposed to woman. What are the rates of domestically violent woman? Can we trust the accuracy of the data when you consider […]

Day 1,379 of Domestic Violence – What’s The Fucking Point?

The title of this one is in honour of a somewhat father figure I love dearly! The advice from the ever increasing campaign against domestic violence doesn’t seem to be up to handling the fallout from the issue. The first port of call is the DVConnect line 1800 811 811. They termed the slogan, ‘Help […]

Day 1,376 of Domestic Violence – What Constitutes Sexual Abuse

Sitting outside a court house on ‘domestic violence day’ I spoke to a lovely female police officer, I say that because I’ve not always had the best intentions with their kind. Not for lack of me being respectful, more them assuming we are all the same. Now she told me that it is becoming so […]

Day 1,375 of Domestic Violence – Shopping Addiction – Totally Addicted To Base!!

We are a consumer riddled society. We have to have brand named products, the biggest and the best. We are not satisfied with just ordinary headphones, they have to be Bluetooth and the most expensive because they must be the best. When you think about it paying more than $300 for a set of headphones […]

Day 1,374 of Domestic Violence – Stairway To Nowhere

Today was not a great day. Ever woken up feeling just ok? Neither happy to be here but not depressed about your existence? Well that was my Wednesday 2nd May 2018. I had a cigarette, drink of water and opened my emails. I found a vile email from a woman who has sought to destroy […]

Day 1,373 of Domestic Violence – One Picture Worth Ten Thousand Words.

I never thought too much into the expression, “One Picture Worth Ten Thousand Words”.  It first appeared as an ad on March 10, 1927, in an issue of Barnard. A lot of the time my phone would be siftesd through with a fine tooth comb by my ex.  Any notes I had made or dates referencing the […]

To My Son

When my son remembers his childhood I want him to remember that his mother gave it her all. She worried at time, she failed at others and she didn’t always get it right. She tried her hardest to show him how to fight for her right to be her own person. Although she battled her […]

Day 1,371 of Domestic Violence- The Band-Aid

You can call it what you like. I refer to mine as the ‘Band-Aid’. It’s the coping mechanism we use when something is too much to sit down & be honest with yourself about & make the change. Some people drink to excess, exercise too excess, use drugs to excess, have sex to excess etc. […]

Day 1,345 of Domestic Violence- Today

Today. I’m lost. I have yelled at everyone & tried to make amends. I just want to go to sleep so I can get out of my own head. I want my son back but for the life of me no one is listening. Well everyone that wants to help has no resources. Anyone that […]

Day 1,339 of Domestic Violence- Introduce Yourself

My name is Carly and I am a 32 year old mother of one small boy. When I think about it, it has been 1,339 days since I noticed a real shift in my relationship & for the physical violence to start. It’s hard to know how long the emotion & mental has existed.  I […]

The Journey Begins

I am a mother of one in my 30s. I never truly understood what domestic violence was until a few years ago. Don’t get me wrong I know what it is but I never realized how much damage it can do to someone’s life and how much it consumes a persons life and ruins families. […]