DIARIES FROM DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

What would you do if I sang out tune?
Would you stand up and walk out on me?
Lend me your ears and I’ll sing you a song
I will try not to sing out of key, yeah

Oh, baby I get by with a little help from my friends
By with a little help from my friends.
All I need is my buddies
By with a little help from my friends
I said I’m gonna get by with a little
By with a little help from my friends
Whoa oh oh oh oh
Said I don’t know if that’s what I’m sure do to, baby
By with a little help from my friends
Said I’m gonna make it with my friends
By with a little help from my friends
Whoa oh I’m gonna keep on trying
By with a little help from my friends
Said I’m gonna keep on trying.

Friendship.

What does it mean to be a good friend? Is it ok to have a best friend or does it signify a clear dividing line between one friend and all the rest of the people you consider a friend? Why can’t we all just be really good friends to our friends?  Why is it that we are always surprised about the people who come through for us when things get rough?

Over the past 2 years or so I have noticed that almost every friend I thought would be there through thick and thin has seemingly vanished or is too busy or plain and simply is just a really bad friend.  I have been surprised by the amount of ‘dark horses’ there have been to come out of the shadows and prove to be of great benefit instead.

So is the world becoming more and more selfish?  Are all of my friends just simply against me and this is an isolated event or do we place too much importance on our friends ‘coming through’ for us?

I think it is a case of our western society being more and more focused on ‘self’ than the outside world.  Acts of kindness or a charitable act for no reason are seldom happen anymore even when you are considering close family members.  Most people walk around with blinders on, all waiting for their turn to talk, not really even listening to what others have to say at all anyway.  Do we even realise that we are talking to ourselves and not the person we are standing in front of?  Why is it more important for us to not miss the latest episode of some a rubbishy tv drama than it is to take a small amount of time to open our eyes to the people we interact with or simply walk past who have real life dramas we don’t even know about

Am I being too overly sensitive towards these people not being there for me?  The ones I would consider I have put myself out there for and seemingly got nothing in return?

Is there a larger power at work here?  Do the powers that be see us as more easily manipulated once we have lost our charitable nature.  It used to be a case of you knowing your neighbour and for some reason in this day and age it is uncommon to know your neighbour at all.  Does our sense of community values reflect upon our charatable side?  Does our overindulged lives full of distraction make us more selfish and unaware of the people around us?

Should I be taking all of this too personally?  I find myself in a position where I have been in some serious danger and a lot of so-called friends and family I have reached out to in particular have publically turned their back and refused to even hear me out regarding some situations.  Others have asked for help upon which I have given that and then when the tables are turned and it is me asking for the help they have thrown their hands in the air and had little to no thought or care for my obvious pain.  Some even finding it ok within themselves to blame me instead.  On the other hand putting myself out there and alluding to the issue I have notices some friends I have not necessarily kept up to date about the inner personal details of my situation have noticed the subtle hints I have put social media and taken it upon themselves to just ask the question, ‘are you ok?’.  This has been a great boost in my strength and determinaiton to go on and I want to take this opportunity to thank them for bucking the trend and not becoming like the rest of the sheep and ignoring the world around them.

For those so-called friends who have consciously turned their back and fed into drama causing significant damage I have this message, “athough I walk this path virtually alone not for a few supporters I will gain strength and despite your lack of care, friends and family I will remember this in the end’.

Remember 3 types of people

Those who helped you in difficult times,

Those who left you in difficult times and

Those who put you in difficult times.