Man-eater, temptress, master manipulator, puppeteer, siren, witch. These are just a few words that have been used to describe me in the past. To say I don’t know I’m even doing it would be a lie. Let just say I’m skilled in the art of a coquettish and have been for most of my life. Now I haven’t always used this talent for good as opposed to evil in the past. Since having my son I decided if I wanted him to one day have a fulfilling relationship with someone who loves and respects him and has his best interests at heart than I had better become someone like that myself.
For all that I know though the ending always seems to be the same, I find I’m never the one chosen in the end. On the other hand I’m the one they never forget or the one they can’t control themselves around. I’m the one your girlfriend hates because she catches you starring at me. In general females simply seem to hate me and I end up being one of the boys all the time. I don’t understand woman in general to be honest and seem to instead avoid them but this seems to get me in further trouble.
Why is this? I think it’s a simple case of me understanding the male brain a little more than most. Why is it when woman want to save a relationship some will intentionally get pregnant? Since when does a baby spice up your life? Sleepless nights, the smell of baby vomit and a new massive expense that ties you to someone for life! In no way is that sexy! Why not go out for dinner or if you’re strapped for cash simply smile…. it free! The addition of a child in most cases just means you will forever have this person you once had the best of times with tied to you for life and over the years become more and more bitter with you.
Now please don’t take me for some kind of idiot who thinks that woman need to please a man here. I believe in equal rights and that relationships are a two way street so in saying the above I also have advice for the other side too!
Men. Please stop trying to find your mother and a partner in the same person. Why? Well when it comes to you trying to show some sort of dominance over us please don’t wonder why we dig our heels in. If you don’t want to be self sufficient and treat us like your mother please don’t expect to ever be in charge or have us take you seriously in life. In my opinion there is nothing sexier than a man who can look after himself, is self sufficient and if they have children is a good father who is civil towards their ex partner in the best interest of their children.
Relationships are hard and breaking up is hard but for some of us that stay single at times people find this weird. I’ve been told by someone who was interested in me before, ‘but you’re single’ almost like I don’t have the right to say no. Guess what just because I’m single doesn’t mean I’m interested in you or that it means I am obligated to do anything with you. I am allowed to say no because I simply don’t want to!
Why is it so crazy that I would like my son back and then decide who we invite into our lives and not for me to start a new life without him? He is my number one and I’m sorry if that offends anyone but tough shit to be honest!
Also I’ve decided to be very picky to be honest. I am self sufficient and independent and I’m going to find someone who is the same. Someone who is more of an whole person on their own first. Not someone who needs me or my addition completes their life. I’m also no longer going to get caught up in this weird phenomenon I’ve notice of anyone only ever being interested in someone if the other person isn’t. Is it the thrill of the chase which entices a person? I find more often than not it ends up in a race to see who can throw the other person away first. For some reason we have all become addicted to rejecting people but deep down our greatest fear is being the one rejected.
Why is this?
Why does it mean that when the little boy in the playground likes us he pushes us in the dirt? Why can’t he just say he likes us? Then everyone knows where they stand rather than trying to work out what he really means? Maybe we like him too so there you go everyone’s on the same page!
I have had people freak out when I’ve been upfront with them. Maybe it’s the fear of rejection that lacks in me that scares them? I don’t know to be honest but I decided a long time ago to stop playing games with peoples emotions and for that I’m not sorry.
This one ends here. No real answers but food for thought I think in the end.
DIARIES FROM DOMESTIC VIOLENCE 