At what point do we just give up on ourselves? At what point is trying to tell yourself you are worth something just fucking pointless?
Maybe it’s a male/female thing? Maybe all men are just assholes and all woman are just evil bitches? But I’m not so is it a case of me being the only one? Surly not! I know I’m a bit of a head case granted and I have my hang ups, this head of mine has been around the block a few times to say the least but at my core I know I’m a good person who has a lot to offer.
Is today just another reminder of the damage my fathers influence has done to me as a whole. I need to find the strength to be on my own but I’ve met two people I don’t want to leave behind. For what they have been through they are beautiful and that kind of thing gets squashed and beaten out of a person so easily. They are just babies but I can barely stand on my own two feet so how do I find the strength to help them? It’s not just them though there is someone else but his issues combined with mine are not meshing to say the least. I’ve seen inside and past that exterior and it’s not a pretty sight. I am not emotionally equipped to deal with it and be understanding all the time. To be frank I’m a little tired of being understanding of every assholes hang ups especially when I ask for very little.
For now it is what it is but I often wonder how many times relationships had potential but ended in flames due to everyone’s bullshit and I wonder if that’s the case for everyone who walks alone or just me?
Is happiness just a bullshit idea Disney gave us to never live up to so we’d forever be miserable and never realise our full potential?
DIARIES FROM DOMESTIC VIOLENCE 